Saturday, July 15, 2006

Here we go again

I am so over this.

(I am in a Global Gossip internet cafe in the Brunswick St Mall. Babyfaced backpackers all around and loud music pumping from the speakers. Terrible, can't think.)

Lovergirl has come up to Brisvegas for the weekend and we are doing the deed. Being incredibly tired doesn't help. Donor Dan is fabulously obliging, we ask him all sorts of weird things like 'how long ago was your last orgasm?' and 'can you give us some swimmers at 7.15 in the morning' and he just does.

This month we are trying yet another new approach (how many ways are there to get pregnant?). Rather than just doin' it with the turkey baster ourselves (it's NOT a turkey baster, insists Lovergirl, it's a syringe. Looks exactly the same to me) we are taking it into the clinic (Danny brings it down to the front gate of his apartments in a urine sample jar, tucked into his pants - I take it and tuck it into my pants then we drive like crazy to the clinic - apparently it can survive for an hour out of the body) where they wash it, for god's sake, and then do an intrauterine insemination - an IUI for those of us in the know. This means they stick it right up into the uterus, instead of, you know, the bit that you can reach with a turkey baster. (Too much information?)

The down side of going into the clinic, apart from the obvious one of having a doctor come at you with a sperm-filled syringe, is that it's only open from 6-8am in the morning.

There has to be a book in this. There has to be some point to it all, anyway.

I'm really fed up with people who get pregnant. How can they get pregnant? They don't deserve to get pregnant, well no more than I do. I bet I would be a much better parent than any of them - I won't go into the list of people I would be a better parent than but it's nutty inside my head sometimes. I see someone with a baby and think, 'she's way too fat/thin/she looks like a druggy/she has got anger management issues/she's too young/I bet she has a really bad relationship/screams at the child in the supermarket I would never do that' ad nauseum.

I think I need to work on developing some hobbies other than trying to get pregnant. This one isn't so rewarding.


Susoz said...

I went through years of that and then gave it a rest and tried to sort out other 'stuff'. Then when I came back to it, I was more focused and pursued ART, with success. I hope this cycle is successful but if not and you need any advice, e me.

Mikhela said...

thanks...I oscillate between being completely obsessed and talking and thinking only about trying to get pregnant, and ostentatiously ignoring it. The last two weeks each month are enough to fry my brain though.