Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Lilith & the domestic goddess

dolphins off Cape Byron

My friend Katya came up from Melbourne to visit me for the weekend. Katya was my closest friend at university, umm - seventeen years ago, jeez. She's one of the few friends I have who knew me before I was a lesbian.

I remember dragging Katya and my sister to my first ever lesbian night, in the basement of a pub on Cardigan St in North Melbourne.
I didn't know any other lesbians and I couldn't go alone. First I had them braid my hair in a million little plaits, with beads on the end. (I wasn't game to cut it off but braids seemed suitably bohemian). We went too early, hardly anyone else was there and the few who were huddled in established clusters, drinking steadily, and not looking terribly interested in a be-braided baby dyke in the wrong clothes.

Old friends are mirrors, sometimes soft flattering ones and other times more like mirrors with flourescent lights blazing on them, showing up every flaw. Katya did a bit of flaw-showing-up, much to the amusement of Lovergirl, who laughed smugly at Katya's tales of my history of numerous disastrous relationships.

It was a delight to see my current home town through a stranger's eyes. Katya loved the python, and the bathroom frog, and the brush turkeys (bloody pests that they are), and the odd people, and the endless green, and even the pitted dirt roads. She coped admirably with our lack of a toilet. A market stall holder asked her rising sign (horoscope) and this made her laugh for days. We read her tarot and took her to a party where she met people who had named themselves after planets, places and states of being.

When I'm feeling guilty that I haven't turned out at all what my parents would have hoped for (despite knowing they love me very much etc etc), I imagine that they would want me to be like Katya. Married - properly married, by a minister, not by a civil servant, which my mother always implied was slightly sinful - with two gorgeous preschool boys, staying at home and creating a beautiful comfortable home... what's not to like about heterosexuality?


Where is that person?

Sorry Katya - moment of jealousy there. Now back to revelling in own life as exotic independent Northern Rivers lipstick lesbian, despite ongoing difficulty getting sperm to swim in correct direction.

Speaking of sperm...
We've been inseminating the past two days (thanks Dan). Lovergirl drives up to Brisbane after work, we meet outside Donor Dan's place, then race home with the vial of sperm tucked into the waistband of my pants. I do my highly important job of wielding the syringe, we fall asleep with Lovergirl propped up on three cushions to coax the swimmers to travel north, then the alarm goes off at 5.30a.m. so she can get back to the North Coast in time for work.

I got a wishing-jar for my birthday so I think we should be right this month.


Anonymous said...

Your house is beautiful, your friends are fabulous and your lifestyle is divine. When I was waiting at the airport to return to Melbourne I felt like crying. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay with you and do crosswords, lie on the daybed in the sun reading novels by local authors, eat delicious locally produced food (I don't tihnk I'd really lived until I tasted that Byron Bay Organic doughnut), browse thru markets, discuss my ascending earth sign with people who have unusual piercings, and go to parties full of interesting lesbians. Though maybe overall there could have been a little less herbal tea ans a little more wine...

mikhela said...

you make me laugh and laugh
Happy you had a good weekend and made me stop and appreciate my lovely life

Anonymous said...

I remeber going to that bar in North Melbourne, I thought going out with a hair-braided lesbian was the hieght of sophisitication. And we all have ghastly relationships behind us - lucky for Lovergirl I know some of yours, lucky for me you don't know all of mine!

Susoz said...

Good luck for this cycle, can I be so bold as to ask why you don't try it next?

Mikhela said...

Susoz, I tried for over a year with not even a late period, then was diagnosed with antisperm antibodies so apparently can only get pregnant thru IVF - ICSI(Intracellular something something where they inject egg directly).So I ramped up my priveate health cover & now I'm waiting for that to kick in - next February. You had to use IVF I believe - why was that?