Sunday, December 02, 2007

On not opening like a lotus

This is where it all started - here I am, nine months ago, at the IVF clinic about to be 1nsem1nated. I'll be popping that attractive gown and shower cap on again in just a few days.

Well, after months of daily meditations involving visualising diving below the surface of the water as waves crash overhead, and my body opening like a lotus, and breathing into the 'chalice of my uterus', not to mention pelvic floor exercises and perineal massage (you'll have to look that up if you don't know what it involves as I am not about to tell you), Dr K tells me he highly recommends a caesarean. Miao, the presenting twin (i.e. the one closest to my cervix) is breech.

'What does highly recommends mean?' I say.

'Well, at your age, and given how long it took to get pregnant, and that they are twins and therefore smaller and more complicated to deliver anyway, I wouldn't be taking risks with the birth,' he says.

I look cross, or maybe just disappointed.

'Enthusiasm is not a factor in deciding for a vag1nal birth,' he adds.

Bad Miao.

No, it's not the baby who's bad, it's the behaviour.

Miao, we don't do breech in this family. The mummies still love you, just turn over.

Anyway, apparently it's highly unlikely Miao will turn now. Despite acupuncture and moxibustion and leaning forward over chairs and swimming and cold packs of frozen peas on my chest.

'Think of it more as opening like a watermelon,' said some helpful person (can't remember who).

Lovergirl, strangely, seems relieved that I'm having a caesarean. I, meanwhile, have spent the past few days sorting out power of attorney (in case I get paralysed under anaesthetic and can't make decisions) and a will (in case I haemorrhage and die and they want to give the babies to my biological next of kin).

I think I've been reading too many books exhorting the wonders of natural birth and the myriad dangers of caesareans.

So - I'm booked in Wednesday. That'll be the 5th, for all those who voted.

Wednesday!

7 comments:

R said...

Congratulations!! Would love to hear more about your pregnancy history and trials and tribulations!!
Do you know what you are having??? Only a few more days to go!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the disappointment in not being able to have the vag birth. You're making the right decision for the wee ones though!

I will be thinking of you on the 5th and sending thoughts your way that all goes as smoothly as possible.

But dang it, I voted for the 6th ;)

Anonymous said...

Is it too late to vote?

JahTeh said...

I was okay for the 7th.
My sister's boy was breech, not feet first but bum first and he's been doing things that way ever since. No matter how many times the doctor turned him, he would just roll right back and like I said, he's been doing that ever since.
As every mother will say to you, it doesn't matter how you give birth, as long as they arrive in health.

Elsewhere007 said...

Miao? Are you giving birth to a cat? I've often thought that might be a good idea for a short film, 'The Woman Who Gave Birth to a Cat.'

Unknown said...

I had a caesarian and it wasn't a big deal. The only downside was that I felt a bit like an imposter, that I hadn't given birth the 'right way' - in that first year, you're hanging around with a lot of women who tell their birth stories. But that all fades with time. Good luck - how exciting!
Have you lined up L to write a post here to tell us what's happened?

Stegetronium said...

L is having an intensive training session in blog-use this morning.

No I am not having a cat El, but you would like that, wouldn't you?

And yes, there does seem to be a vague judgement around caesareans, like I didn't try hard enough - I have to remember not to take these on with parenthood, as that seems to be a general underlying theme to motherhood - judging and advising each other. Hmmm, more on that later I'd say.