Wednesday, April 04, 2007

XXX Gir1 on gir1 action hot gir1s 1ive

<-- this is more what the lesbians of my acquaintance tend to engage in

Apparently there's an Italian restaurant in Alice Springs, a favourite haunt of lesbians, known casually as 'Cunni1ingus'. (By whom? do the dykes call it Cunni1ingus? Or does everyone else because they know dykes go there? Or is that apocryphal?). There's a running joke there that lesbians order clam vognole. I read this on Elsewhere's blog, she's a smart woman with a bold fearless writing style that I admire immensely, so it must be true.

Why is there such a focus on lesbians and oral sex?
I (in my humourless lesbian way) had assumed that this was a homophobic thing to say. 'Ooh lesbians - oral sex- snigger snigger' but thinking about it further today (while I should have been writing a tender document) I got to thinking that it's actually an extrapolation of men's contempt for straight women. Because men are obsessed with their dicks they assume straight women must be too. That just like on Sex and the City, when straight women get together they are talking about dick size, and who gets what in bed, and comparing lovers. So if straight women are obsessed with dicks (which, in my experience, they aren't), lesbians must be obsessed with cunts. Vaginae (what is the plural of vagina? I don't often say it in the collective). Labia slash map-of-tassie pussy CLAM

Maybe it does reflect us but I feel alienated by it. For example, the old LOTL I have lying around (Lesbians on the Loose - the national lesbian magazine) has ads for nightclubs and events called 'Moist' and 'Bitch', two separate full page articles on vibrators and an article on identifying as femme illustrated by two topless young things. In contrast, the back page social pages of women out enjoying themselves at nightclubs are sensible looking young things with clean scrubbed faces in polo necked T-shirts (I never implied we were fashionable) and red-rimmed spectacles.

I've been looking around for social groups in Brisbane. There's a lesbian social group called 'City Lickers'. Why do they do this? The photos show sensible tweedy middle aged women going off for bushwalks. Do they identify as City Lickers? I decided not to join and went for the gay & lesbian choir instead.

Lovergirl got The L-Word for her birthday earlier this year. It's a lesbian soapie, filled with glamourous models who fall into bed at the slightest provocation. If you ever want an unrealistic picture of lesbian life, that's the one to watch. We devoured the whole series in about two weeks. It was engrossing, like eating too much chocolate. I understand sex sells, apparently. But I wonder how many women pick up LOTL in spite of the sex, because it's all we have, rather than because of it.


I wonder how many women really order clam vognole and wink suggestively at their dining companion. Probably the same amount, as I suggested snippily on Elsewhere's blog, as straight women who order an erect zucchini with two scoops of mashed potato at the base.

5 comments:

elsewhere said...

I could probe my sources further, but I think that the 'clam vongole' bit is a kind of code/running joke which originated from the dyke community, whereas the cunn*ling*s joke is a more general one -- partly a snigger, snigger pun on the name but also a ref to the high-profile dyke following of said restuarant.

I remember having a similar conversation years ago with a gay male friend about a queer club in Melbourne, the name of which escapes me, but I think its logo was a rainbow-coloured phallus -- which was not only non-inclusive but also kind of irksome.

Katya said...

Is it kind of the same point that most blokes seem to really get off on looking at women having sex with each other, but you don't see loads of porn aimed at women that has two blokes. As far as I know, this isn't a common female fantasy - though I have been known to have the odd saucy thought, while hanging out the washing, of Johnny Depp coming on to Robbie Williams...

Mikhela said...

Yes, I have a standing agreement with LG that if Johnny Depp comes looking for a roll in the hay all monogamous vows are temporarily suspended; but Robbie Williams - no thanks!

& Elsewhere,I think what bothers me is that it probably has come from lesbians and I don't like how we are putting sex out for public consumption - colluding with the "two girls having sex only want to be watch by males" school of thought. It's like the only thing that defines me is how I have sex so I have to flaunt it at every possible moment.

It seems - insecure, I think. But maybe its just the next developmental step after hiding for so many years - waving proud sexuality loudly from every possible rooftop. Nyah, nyah nyah, we have oral sex (I also find that a bit limiting...)

Anonymous said...

I agree with/empathise with everything you've said here.

Suze

JahTeh said...

I'm coming in a bit late here but as a straight woman, I can say we indulge in oral sex (not lately probably never again) and we don't talk a lot about dick size unless we're having a snigger about his small feet