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<-- this is more what the lesbians of my acquaintance tend to engage in

Apparently there's an Italian restaurant in Alice Springs, a favourite haunt of lesbians, known casually as 'Cunni1ingus'. (By whom? do the dykes call it Cunni1ingus? Or does everyone else because they know dykes go there? Or is that apocryphal?). There's a running joke there that lesbians order clam vognole. I read this on Elsewhere's blog, she's a smart woman with a bold fearless writing style that I admire immensely, so it must be true.

Why is there such a focus on lesbians and oral sex? I (in my humourless lesbian way) had assumed that this was a homophobic thing to say. 'Ooh lesbians - oral sex- snigger snigger' but thinking about it further today (while I should have been writing a tender document) I got to thinking that it's actually an extrapolation of men's contempt for straight women. Because men are obsessed with their dicks they assume straight women must be too. That just like on Sex and the City, when straight women get together they are talking about dick size, and who gets what in bed, and comparing lovers. So if straight women are obsessed with dicks (which, in my experience, they aren't), lesbians must be obsessed with cunts. Vaginae (what is the plural of vagina? I don't often say it in the collective). Labia slash map-of-tassie pussy CLAM

Maybe it does reflect us but I feel alienated by it. For example, the old LOTL I have lying around (Lesbians on the Loose - the national lesbian magazine) has ads for nightclubs and events called 'Moist' and 'Bitch', two separate full page articles on vibrators and an article on identifying as femme illustrated by two topless young things. In contrast, the back page social pages of women out enjoying themselves at nightclubs are sensible looking young things with clean scrubbed faces in polo necked T-shirts (I never implied we were fashionable) and red-rimmed spectacles.

I've been looking around for social groups in Brisbane. There's a lesbian social group called 'City Lickers'. Why do they do this? The photos show sensible tweedy middle aged women going off for bushwalks. Do they identify as City Lickers? I decided not to join and went for the gay & lesbian choir instead.

Lovergirl got The L-Word for her birthday earlier this year. It's a lesbian soapie, filled with glamourous models who fall into bed at the slightest provocation. If you ever want an unrealistic picture of lesbian life, that's the one to watch. We devoured the whole series in about two weeks. It was engrossing, like eating too much chocolate. I understand sex sells, apparently. But I wonder how many women pick up LOTL in spite of the sex, because it's all we have, rather than because of it.


I wonder how many women really order clam vognole and wink suggestively at their dining companion. Probably the same amount, as I suggested snippily on Elsewhere's blog, as straight women who order an erect zucchini with two scoops of mashed potato at the base.